Doula » The Birthin' Blog

The Birth of Poppy Lou Eilola-Bastek

May 312013

It is amazing how much women will learn from their first birth. Often they will work hard to make that birth not be repeated. This mom did that very thing!

In preparation for the birth of our second baby I attended a weekend class titled, “Fear to Freedom” {now called BOLD}. Eight other pregnant women attended. We bonded as we talked about labor, fears, strengths, and visions for our upcoming births. We also meditated; role played, and wrote birth mantras. My mantra for this baby’s birth was:

I will work hard.

I will listen to my body and feel what it is telling me.

I will embrace the moment and the journey of the birth of my baby.

I own my birth.

In addition to the “Fear to Freedom” class, Stan and I took a class on breast-feeding and sought out a doula and midwife practice that would be conducive to a normal labor and birth. Teresa led the weekend workshop and the breastfeeding class that we took. She helped me feel supported and empowered to make the birth and breastfeeding experience I envisioned a reality. We found Intown Midwifery in Atlanta, a practice that prides themselves on treating women and birth with respect and helping them through the process. After interviewing several doulas, we decided to hire Colleen. She would be a gentle, guiding force throughout the preparation, labor, and birth of our baby.

The birth I envisioned was intervention free and done on my terms. Our first baby was born after several interventions including Pitocin, a doctor breaking my water, an epidural, and several long uncomfortable hours unable to eat or drink in the hospital. That was not going to happen to my baby and me again! It was important to me to be alert and aware to breast-feed my baby from the moment s/he was born. I did not want this baby taken away from me for any reason at all.

Saturday morning, 11/17/2012, we went for a family walk along the Chattahoochee River, my favorite place to walk or run. Later that afternoon the very early stages of labor started while Stan and I were at the movie theater seeing Lincoln. Lucky was at his best friend Presley’s house. I got up every 30-40 minutes during the movie to go to the restroom. I felt restless. I felt like something may be happening. I was in a good mood. After the movie and a nice dinner at Marlow’s Tavern, we went to pick Lucky up. As we were leaving Presley’s house with Lucky he said, “See you tomorrow!” Cary, Dawn, Stan and I all laughed about how funny it would be if we had to bring Lucky back to their house the next day, if I was in labor.

That evening I started to have very light contractions. They felt like light period cramps wrapping from my back around my hips. That night I went to bed and woke up around midnight to Frankie, our dog, whimpering to go out. I prodded Stan to get up and let her out but he was too out of it (Stan is a deep sleeper). Frustrated, I got out of bed and let her out. I went to the restroom and saw a welcome sign, my mucus plug started to come out. This was exciting and I continued to have light contractions. I texted Colleen, the doula that was going to help us with the labor and birth of this baby. I also understood that even though my mucous plug came out, it could still be several days before the baby would be born. I took a shower around midnight and laid on the couch to try and get some sleep.

A Gentle Birth Pie

Apr 012013

There are lots of ingredients that go into making a gentle birth pie:

Provider
1. Your gynecologist may not be the best one for your pregnancy care- well woman care vs pregnancy and birth care
2. Communication goes both ways- can you discuss things and be heard and feel listened to now?
3. Back up is important- who covers what- do they share call- will you get to meet them beforehand?
4. Midwifery model vs the medical model of care=What do most women choose? Obstetricians are by far the most common choice in the United States, although certified nurse-midwives are becoming more popular: In 2006, CNMs attended almost 8 percent of deliveries in the United States and over 11 percent of vaginal births. provide handout
5. CIMS questions to ask
6. Marriage – then date- can lead to divorce- when is it too late? Don’t stay where the rules of the games are different than the game you want to play.

“Midwives see birth as a miracle and only mess with it if there’s a problem; doctors see birth as a problem and if they don’t mess with it, it’s a miracle!” Barbara Harper in Gentle Birth Choices

“Unfortunately, the role of obstetrics has never been to help women give birth. There is a big difference between the medical discipline we call “obstetrics’ and something completely different, the art of midwifery. If we want to find safe alternatives to obstetrics, we must rediscover midwifery. To rediscover midwifery is the same as giving back childbirth to women. And imagine the future if surgical teams were at the service of the midwives and the women instead of controlling them.” Michel Odent, MD

“When meeting with my OB, I described—in a light way—the feeling I had about the baby telling me he was coming out vaginally. Unfortunately, this kind of thing does not provide confidence to everyone in the medical community! And much to my dismay, they wanted to schedule me for a C-Section, just like that. Thankfully, at least one very important local midwife did believe me and believe in me (and my baby). She encouraged me to do what I needed and go where I needed to get my try at a VBAC. “– Jenna’s story

“Switching practices mid-pregnancy was perhaps the best decision we have made. Last week I was so fed up with being pregnant that I just about begged her to induce me. Had I stayed with my old practice, they would have scheduled a date right then. But not Janet. She just calmly reminded me that no one stays pregnant forever and that my baby would come when she was ready. She talked through natural things we could do to help get labor started and walked us through what would happen if she doesn’t come by 41 weeks.

As we left her office I turned to D and said, “We picked her for a reason. I don’t really want to be induced. But I was desperate. And instead of letting me cave to my uncomfortableness, she talked me out of it. Gently. I’m thankful for that.” She has been a rock for me during the last half of my pregnancy. I’d recommend her to anyone. {This is Janet Fedullo with Alpharetta Women’s Specialists}”- Chrystal Rowe from the blog Continue reading »

Mysterious Surprises

Mar 312013

Surprises come in all forms and we can never get too comfortable. But if we begin to look at birth as a mysterious journey that will unfold in unpredictable ways we may be able to be more comfortable with surprises. I believe if a woman is well prepared and has done her homework on events and options, has a great support team around her and care providers she trusts, then she will be okay with the turns and twists her labor and birth may be accompanied with. I think it is when a woman is ill prepared, is bamboozled and manipulated by those around her who should be supporting her but have their own agenda – then the mystery is not a mystery at all- it is a coup from others to overtake the journey with their plans and underlying issues.

Are you prepared? Do you have your team in place? Is your tribe supportive of your desires for your birth? Is your care provider one you trust and you feel has your best interest at heart? Are you birthing in a location where you feel safe? Then dream the dream you have for the vision of birth you desire and let the mystery of your birth experience unfold with excitement and wonder and without fear and anxiety.

Roles of Care Providers During Labor and Birth

Mar 302013

Someone recently asked me if using a doula was really needed if you had a midwife. How about if you plan to have a home birth? I thought I would share roles as determined by some internet sites (the title is a hyperlink to go to the site) for each type of job that the labor support folks offer. In our area it is not unusual for a midwife to have multiple women in labor. She can not be everywhere at the same time. It is not unusual for her to be on for 24 hours straight- so she may be eating and sleeping some of that time as well. In our area most nurses are assigned to two patients at the same time. Her role limits her contact with the mom during a lot of her labor. As far as home birth midwives, some come once labor is well established and others may send their apprentice initially to assess how you are doing if she has another mom in labor. Some will have a back up midwife in case more than one mom is in labor. A home birth apprentice at a birth acts more like the nurse in a hospital birth- assisting the midwife. She may have been a doula before, but her primary role is to learn the art of midwifery by assisting the midwife- not being the primary support to the mom. The doula has one role- to be there for the mom or couple. Her role is to be fully attentive to the emotional and physical needs of the mom. So look over the roles- they may differ within your practice, and determine who you want to have with you in labor. think about your needs and I am sure you will make the right choice for you.

Role of a Midwife during Labor and at a Home Birth:

“If you choose home birth for delivery, your midwife’s role will begin long before your due date. A midwife will provide regular checkups and refer you to a doctor for prenatal exams, such as ultrasounds. Your midwife will see you throughout your pregnancy, tracking your baby’s growth and checking you for any possible complications. Because prenatal visits with a midwife are longer and more relaxed than in a traditional medical setting, you and your midwife will develop a much more personal relationship than is typical with a doctor.

When it’s time for your baby’s birth, your midwife will come to your home with any equipment that may be necessary during the birth. She will monitor you throughout childbirth, typically checking the baby’s heart rate with a hand-held Doppler, as well as monitoring the baby’s position and the progress of your labor. She will stay with you throughout your entire labor, helping to keep you comfortable and making sure your labor is progressing as it should. After your baby is born, your midwife will clean up any mess, examine you and your baby and help you to try to start nursing. She will stay for a little while to make sure you and your baby are happy and healthy. She will visit you a day or two after your birth for a postnatal checkup, as well.” Continue reading »

Who to Pick, Where to Go, What to Take?

Mar 192013

I love for women to really allow themselves to dream about their birth experience. I like them to visualize it and imagine. If she can not dream it she won’t know how to achieve it. If she is painting a picture that is not the experience she is setting herself up for, she needs to know that. Often a mother does not know what she does not know. This is where she may seek advice from others.

It is important to really feel totally secure in labor. Otherwise you may have adrenaline rushing through your veins instead of endorphins which will allow you to relax and open up to your baby. I have written about picking your team and location carefully. Recently I had a mom come to me who had selected her doctor based on her girl friends recommendations. But the birth she desired and the birth they had were two different kinds of births. She realized she may need to change care providers.

I met a woman at our Meet the Doula Tea recently who had selected her location for birth based on the local hospital that was only two miles away from her home. But then she shared how it was imperative to hire a doula since she wanted to stay home until the very end and may need protection when she got to the hospital. I reminded her that a doula would have no means of making sure she and the baby were doing great while at home, and although it was up to her- would it not be better to be able to birth in a place she felt safe and have a doula for support rather than protection. She agreed and recently changed her birth location to one that is a bit farther but not one she will need protection from.

I recently had a student that I really clicked with. She mentioned that she wished she had considered me as her doula. She likes her doula but realizes that she was given the advice to hire a “sister” doula- one who is her age rather than a “mother” doula. But when she heard the term “mother” doula it made her think she did not want to have her mom there. When she attended the tea, she only talked to the doula whom the friend had referred her to. I think it is imperative that potential clients attend the tea with an open and intuitive mind to select the doula she feels best drawn to. Last night at a class a student asked if I ever paired up doulas to potential clients for best matches. I definitively said no. And shared this last story. I love that folks love their doula and want to tell others she is the one they should hire- but I think it is best for the woman to decide that herself.

I think just like water birth vs bed birth…. medication vs natural….hospital vs home…. midwife vs doctor… instrumental music vs vocals…. those decisions are best made by the mom for herself. Certainly give her your input and your experience, but let her learn to trust her instinctive voice.

We Love Renea Jones

Feb 142013

This is basically the resounding message in the shared quotes from her clients! We are delighted she is with our company!

Renea was a supportive and calming presence throughout our time together. I appreciated her immensely! I relied on her to remind me of my goals for the birthing experience–goals which easily can be dismissed in the intensity of contractions and diminished by the persistence of well intending hospital staff. She was a source of great comfort and strength and provided me with wealth of information about my options for childbirth. Knowing I had someone keeping vigil for me gave me courage to pursue my birth plan. We were so blessed to work with Renea and have her as our doula for the arrival of our precious Lucia! We really appreciate everything you did. Every pregnant woman should have a doula.

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Having Renea present for my birth experience was like a sigh of relief. Knowing that she has been with many first time moms during their births made me feel like I could relax about all of the unknowns I was about to experience. Her calm yet confident presence rubs off while in labor, which was both comforting and encouraging. It gave me extra relief to know that my husband felt very supported by having her present to help guide while still being involved in the whole process.

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We chose Renea as our doula because we feel we can trust her and that she will be a calm, caring advocate for the safe birth of our son.

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